The Literal Constitution

Martin Heidegger’s Hologram, Assistant White House Press Secretary, answered the White House Press Corps’ questions about Judge Gorsuch with the following statement.

The literal Constitution doesn’t give a damn about Muslim schoolgirls,
or fetuses, or prudish French statues in sanctuary harbor towns.

The literal Constitution snorts at Bibles, grins at slaves,
lies back and looks at its terrible view of the sky above the Potomac.

Sometimes it feels like it’s at its own funeral,
looked down upon in its Snow White coffin by small, ungrateful heirs.

The literal Constitution keeps slapping your hand away
from your own keys, even though it never learned to drive.

The literal Constitution lets you think that it used to be a tree,
but it was a sheep.

The literal Constitution doesn’t want to be a plane,
thinks you’re trying to be Leonardo Da Vinci,

certainly is not interested in being your trampoline,
is actually rather fatigued, forgets where the whiskey is hidden,

stumbles into jungles wearing only a bodice and a coiffure
shaped like a naval battle, thinks it might not be so bad to crinkle,

shows up at your door in the middle of the night
asking if you meant to call, is so tired of judges,

says if you keep reading me like this we’ll never see each other
and the night in the hospital lobby will have been wasted

but maybe you have something better to do.
Maybe you know nothing at all, and I know even less.